The dilemma of not knowing what to do…

I am in a dilemma at the moment and the cause of this predicament is a health issue. A stupid condition that has happened to me before only a couple of years ago. In 2013, I was diagnosed, after many wild guesses from a variety of health professionals, with a frozen shoulder.

The diagnosis

For those who are not familiar with this syndrome, it literally means that your shoulder freezes up to such an extent that you can’t move it. For instance you can’t comb your hair or brush your teeth as you cannot reach your head with the guilty arm. The whole process can take anything between 18 months and 3 years but usually heals.

So only a few years ago, I had a frozen left shoulder and at the moment I am developing the same problem on the right. Much worse if you do most things with your right hand, I fear!

A frozen shoulder and consequently minimal movement has a huge impact on my life a the moment. It affects my work as I have a garden business and do most actions with my right arm. It hinders or prevents me from doing many things where movement is involved.

dilemma, frozen shoulder, gardening
My crow bar is my most used tool. A frozen shoulder will put an end to that……..

The consequences

I have financial goals and their success is a direct result of being able to work. At the moment I still work as much as I can and fortunately I am ahead of my budget. Quitting to work will affect my financial situation which is a bit crucial with an impending move abroad.

The worse aspect is the duration of the medical problem and that may affect my future plans. Yes, those particular plans I have carefully orchestrated for after my arrival in Europe in July this year. My first plan is to do some decluttering, quite major actually, in the London house of my mum in law. I may not be able to carry things and reach in cupboards.

My second plan is a possible garden house sit on the Cote d’Azur for 6 month. A dream position where I get to live in an apartment overlooking the Mediterranean in exchange for looking after a beautiful big garden. I fear that my shoulder could be in the maximum frozen stage when I do my try-out during a 2 week stay in August.

Am I going to cancel? Off course not as I am not burning my bridges before I can even see them. I had some medical treatment for my shoulder during the last weeks that was unfortunately ineffective.

A scan showed that I have bursitis in the shoulder joint and a tendonitis of a shoulder muscle, both conditions that require rest to heal. Both are problems like that very often are a precursor to frozen shoulders. As my movement has already been restricted for at least 50% I am pretty sure it will lead to that.

The remedy

I have to laugh when I hear the need for total rest as I am not the type to surrender to sitting on the sofa while knitting scarves. Even that would be too much movement. Another option could be to write all day and finally make a business out of this blog. So far lack of time has kept me from committing to that.

So in sum, my dilemma will be obvious to the attentive reader. I need to work to safe for my move or need to stop working to heal my shoulder.

In a debate with myself, I could say that I have saved up enough money and that it is more important to give the shoulder some rest. I would object with replying that I don’t like to let my clients down. I like working in their gardens and I know that some of them rely on my input.

Some of these people are unfortunately very ill. They benefit from seeing their garden in good shape as they can’t do it themselves anymore. I am aware I will have to let them go in July but I am not ready to do that already now.

A possible solution to the dilemma?

This morning I was contemplating to quit the gardens I don’t like anymore. I did a quick mental scan and came to only one and therefore it is not a very effective solution. Then I could stop doing the gardens that require a lot of physical hard work. There are only a couple more….

Deep down I don’t know what to do. As I already said, it is a dilemma! The good thing is that I have a short holiday coming up. Two more garden sessions of 4 hours and then a trip of 5 days to Tasmania.

Rest? Only if my husband will carry my suitcase 😉 ……

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change, emigration, France, planning to leave


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